Silence

Life is an interesting ride full of quandaries. Obvious, yes. True, also yes. For instance, it’s hard to believe that silence is now one of the bigger luxuries I get to experience. No, I’m not interested in silence all the time – then it wouldn’t be a luxury. But whenever it comes, sitting, savoring and attempting to reflect are the meditative activities I choose.

I still does gymnastics every Monday and C now has basketball every Tuesday. This week, I was with C both days. It was J’s turn to go to gymnastics and my turn to go to basketball. With C on Mondays, Justin usually digs in the dirt with him, plays remote control cars or something equally as fun. Somehow my activities always end up including snuggling. In the four weeks since he’s quit gymnastics, both of my Mondays at home have ended with him falling asleep in my arms before they get home. That silence is truly blissful.

I wouldn’t change anything about our children; nothing. But, the baby phase where people are “nap trapped” and holding individual babies alone wasn’t my experience. Everything was two at once and I felt like I didn’t get to enjoy some aspects (and didn’t realize it until it was too late). Perspective changed when L&S were born, but logistically, I still wasn’t able to romanticize the baby phase. Snuggling with my 4 year old isn’t the same as a baby, but in some ways, it’s more special. I’m making him feel safe, comfortable and relaxed and that’s a wonderful thing.

The littles are at home, too, but usually we get about an hour with one of the order kids when they’ve gone to sleep on these nights.

After the luxury of silence subsides, I think about prank wars and how to start them in my house. As I’m lying next to my sweet husband, I’m also considering going to the kitchen and getting pots and pans to bang on to wake him up. That thought won’t win today, but tbd on tomorrow.

Xox