After 39 hours of labor, one of my very dear friends gave birth to baby Charlotte this morning!! Though it may not have been the way she envisioned the birth, all that matters is the result. She and the bebe are doing well, though she is exhausted!

Day 15 of injections. On day 5, I realized that the obscene headaches I was having were yet again from the injections, not the lack of caffeine. I attempted to quit caffeine in order to relax my eggs, but I added some back in before I remembered the headaches were from the medicine. On day… Continue reading Day 15

I love beginnings because they hold so much promise. They aren’t yet tarnished by unfulfilled expectations or the "shoulda, coulda, wouldas" that come with progress. I called the doctor finally about a month ago (10/1). I had questions regarding my last appointment and wanted to understand how they felt about going forward. So, issue #1.… Continue reading Begin (November 3)

It has been a hard couple of weeks. For those who say that the feelings come like waves, I’d say they’re correct in some way. Waves are more predictable, but feelings wash over you and overtake you in the same way. As I’ve been trying to figure out where to go from here, sleep has… Continue reading Ocean on my mind (October 21)

For the support of people who either empathize with or know the pain. This song is everything. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7hO5m9UUm2k

This has been awful for me to write and I've been avoiding it. But, the one consistent thing about life is that it goes on, regardless of how it feels. On Monday, J decided not to go into work before the appointment so we could hang out at home for a bit in the morning. … Continue reading Losing what I didn’t have 

So what to do when you have the longest 24 hour wait in history (followed by an even longer two week wait)? Well, here is some insight on the things that I've done as mainly recommended by the internet: Had my last cup of coffee (acid is not helpful, regardless of caffeine) Bathed in unscented… Continue reading T minus 24 hours….

Grow, grow, grow will be the chant going for me this weekend.  I got the call shortly after I wrote my piece lamenting waiting. So, after three days, they want the embryos to be 8 cells (ideally). In addition to counting the cells, they give each embryo a grade from 1-3, 1 being the best,… Continue reading The State of the Embies

I've not ever really found an effective strategy to deal with waiting and anticipation but to stay busy. As irony has it, I decided to turn down an opportunity to visit with family this weekend so I could "relax." So, next time this happens, I invite everyone to remind me that taskless solitude isn't relaxing.… Continue reading The art of waiting (and what to expect when you aren’t expecting)

Whenever I try reaching a goal, the little engine that could always plays in the back of my mind. I always have a chant going to motivate me when I'm feeling down. Anyway, I had not received a call by 10:00 am this morning, so naturally I called. They said M was with a patient… Continue reading I think I can, I think I can….